Being Married: Nostalgia is A-moral
Nostalgic feeling is a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.
Memories are triggered by what our senses (five senses) bring into our frontal lobe and the memory released by the “amygdala”, which in-turn lead to release of specific hormones, depending on what is triggered from the storage unit (amygdala).
With the advent of social media, nostalgia is no longer limited to 10, 25 or even 50 years reunion anymore, we now reconnect on social media outlets, I must say that i’m a member of a few of such – within boundaries i’ve set for myself.
Yesterday, wifey added me to one of such groups (I added some friends too), the group is about the timeframe of when we were in College (University). Looking through the group, we re-collect many fond memories, Old-Bukka and some popular campus words and things in our era.
As someone in marriage ministry, my antenna went up when I saw some nostalgic feeling posts, some asking people to re-open the memory of their fornicating past or some fun but unpleasant things. Knowing how the enemy works it is very easy to see such nostalgic feeling break up a home – all it takes is a vulnerable person, currently going through serious conflicts at home, to imagine what could have been, and the enemy of God encouraging such thoughts – adding fuel to the fire.
I have seen and counseled with many who were vulnerable emotionally (due to circumstances at the time) fall prey to nostalgic feelings, triggered by social media reunion. A strong family unit, would or might survived such nostalgic memories, but a home going through or healing from a “trust” issue, might not survive such nostalgia.
Social media nor such groups are not the problem, it is the state of our relationship before exposing ourself to such group on social media. It is also the boundaries we set for ourselves, even when our marriage is strong (who we fear, God or human).
I pray for more revelation of the Holy Spirit beyond what i’ve written.