Being Married: Stages of Marriage
Almost all scientific research done on Marriage, suggests that, everyone’s marriage would go through three stages. The first stage is mostly called ROMANTIC LOVE stage (some calls it Limerence stage), the second is NEGOTIATION stage, and the third is COMMITMENT.
The Romantic love stage (if dating and courtship is not marred by cohabitation) is often bouyed or carried along with high emotion, soon that emotion would fade, and give room for REAL LOVE – a DECISION (not emotion that goes up and down with hormonal flow).
The Negotiation stage is when the husband (male) and wife (female) learn to become one, negotiating through their natural and nurturing differences. This stage is why pre-marriage education or counseling is necessary, to point out potential differences and how to deal with them, at least theoretically.
This stage is also why we NEED the Holy Spirit to help us LOVE unconditionally. Death to SELF – Gal. 2. 20 and Rom. 12: 1 would help you greatly.
The Commitment stage is when couples have learnt to blend. They’ve learnt how to give grace to each other’s weaknesses and how to enhance each other’s strength. They’ve learnt that the reason you submit or love is not based on the other person, but on Obedience to God.
Unfortunately, not to many couples get to this stage, they either give up during the negotiation or they learn to stay in and endure the relationship.
May heaven help us all, as we navigate through our Marriages, hopefully with the help of the Holy Spirit.