Pattern and Principles: Unity vs. Conformity in Agreement
Unity is when different parts brings their uniqueness to make a unit function. Paul the apostle, wrote to the church in Corinth, how the eyes, the nose, the hand, the legs etc. all do different tasks but they form the body unit.
Conformity is when different parts are told to put/lay down what makes them unique and do what they are told, conforming to make the unit function in the vision of someone or someone else.
In marital relationships, many seem to want to practice “Conformity”, they spent more effort trying to shape their spouse, husband or wife, into a certain image they’ve imagined or something they see, instead of helping the person be who God has made him/her to be based on nature and nurture.
What makes the principle of Unity work is when there are guidelines that both agree to, and such guidelines are beyond both parties, they are not formulated along the way. When the guidelines seem to make one party “conform”, then chaos ensues, often after a period of calm.
In a Christian Marriage, Biblical Principles on marriage becomes the “guidelines” that both unique individuals use in the process of their fusion, moving away from those guidelines brings disunity (so, lying, adultery etc. would bring disunity). Meanwhile, more bonds of Unity is formed within the agreed guidelines.