Being Married: Obey vs. Submit
With Obedience, your opinion is irrelevant, you simply do what you are told. With submission, you share your opinion (hopefully considered), then you willingly defer your opinion even when not convinced the other option is best.
In Marriage, first we are to submit to one another (defer to each other), but then women are commanded to submit (not obey) their husbands (his headship).
A smart and godly husband actively seek the opinion of his wife, because God created her differently, and a combination of the man’s wiring along with the woman’s wiring gets the best results for the home.